Some Answers

Frank has continued to send me at least one email a day. I do not even reply to them. Then on Friday morning I found an email from him that said he left something for me on the porch the night before and he hoped I got it.
I opened the front door and found a bag with some red roses, a mini cheese cake, a toy for guy, and a lame card with the inside message scratched out and he wrote, "Sorry Babe".
It's all very nice and all, but it only makes me feel like I am not being heard.
I sent him an email thanking him for all the nice things, but please do not come around any more and do not email me any more unless you NEED something and do not call me!
So, what does he do? He calls my cell phone from a restricted number a few hours later. I answer it because I did not know it was him. I wish I had hung up as soon as I heard his voice, but I guess I figured it had better be pretty good if he is calling me just after getting my email telling him not to even contact me. I was wrong.
He just started going on about how he can't let go because he feels like he had found the love of his life and his dream woman and he just can't give me up. He prays to know if he should persue me or not and his answer is yes. He started reminiscing about some special moments we had together, but I would cut him off. He gave his Giant-with-the-cupcake analogy about how the Giant just fumbles with the delicate cupcake in his hand until he has detroyed it so that it has crumbled to the floor. He feels like he is the giant trying to save our relationship. I told him he cannot pray to make someone fall in love with him. My feelings for him have changed.
Then he started giving examples of how he has changed since we were dating. How he has a truck now and that he is working and making good money. I told him those are not the only reasons why I called it off. He wanted to know what my reasons were, but I did not have the heart to tell him, because it is not something that he can change and I know he has regrets over it. I was trying to spare his feelings even to this point. He said he is strong and that he can take it. HA! He has not taken any of it well.
He figured if he were to come out and tell me the things about myself that he didn't like that I would feel compelled to retaliate and do the same for him. Well, I did not let him get so far with me on the phone. I hung up before he could share with me what they were.
He called me back four times (but I did not answer the phone), with 20 minutes and sent another four emails, one of which included the things he doesn't like about me. They were all superficial, and petty insecurities that I was already well aware of about myself, more my physical self than my character. But he didn't let me off the hook there either. He told me I am a truly horrible person because I choose not to tell him and that I am actually lying to him because I won't tell him.
Then he threatons to send me flowers everyday if I do not give him the answers that he deserves. Whoopdideedooo! At least it wasn't a harmfull threat. Another email said that he is on his way to my house to ask me face to face. As soon as I read that I called him and told him not to come over. He made the excuse that his sister needs her slip back that I was going to borrow for the wedding. I told him it would be on the porch. I should have told him I would take it to her myself, which I am going to end up doing anyway it looks like.
I sent the email below, in blue to him in response to his series of emails. I had to go pick up Guy, so I told my brother and my mother that he said he was coming by, just to prepare them, then I left. My dad got home shortly after and they decided to go out to dinner, so by the time Frank got there, there was no one home. He continued to call me every 10 minutes. He called me a total of 14 times last night and left 10 messages!

[FRANKENSTEIN ___________],
DO NOT SEND ME ANY MORE EMAILS. DO NOT CALL ME ON THE PHONE. DO NOT COME TO MY HOUSE. IF YOU CALL ME, IT WILL NOT BE ME THAT ANSWERS. IF YOU COME TO MY HOUSE, THERE WILL BE SOMEONE ELSE TO SHOW YOU OFF THE PROPERTY.
YOU ARE HARRASING ME AND THREATONING ME AND I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A PSHCHOPATH! DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN, IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. STOP PRAYING ABOUT ME OR FOR ME. DO NOT MENTION MY NAME.
YOU HAVE PUSHED ME TO THE LIMIT!

I saw that he had not picked up the bag with his sister's slip in it from the front porch. He did get my email though and he had already replied...twice....

Reply #1
Babe,
I didn't mean any of those I sent to you. I just said them to get a reaction and I just wanted you to be honest with me. You have not been honest for some time and I just wanted to get the truth. That's all. You broke up with me with out telling me the real reason. That's all...........

Reply #2
Oh by the way your true colors are shining through. No contact will be made. I resend any offer to be here for you in anyway because your a lier and not only to me but to your parents and to your self and it has made you real ugly to me and very un-attractive. I hope you can change for Guys sake. You find a project and make it better and when it's almost perfect you throw it away. Please get some help!
[Frank]

Hahahahaha. The second one made me laugh out loud!...hehe, still does. Oh, dear. Yes, my true colors....and his true psychosis!

The next part is where I am puzzled, and amazed. I really hadn't discussed with anyone the additional reasons why I was glad that I choose not to marry Frank or why I was not interested in getting back together with him. Then, over breakfast this morning my dad brings him up and how glad he is that I did not marry him because now we can see how he might behave if things didn't go his way. I agreed and I shared a few of my thoughts and mentioned that I feel like he is lacking in the intellectual department and I think it is partly due to the drugs that he used to do. He was very honest with me from the beginning about it, but I managed to look past that as long as it wasn't a part of his life any more. What I didn't realize were the long term affects that it has on people. He has even admitted that he has a hard time expressing himself sometimes and he things it is due to his taking drugs.
This brought up a new concern to my parents that he might revert back to them at some point if life gets too tough to handle.

I got an email from Frank this afternoon saying that he "know[s] what it is". He never mentioned what "it" is, and that he understans my fear. He elaborated about how he had forgotten about it because he has confessed of it so many times and been forgiven that he himself forgets at times. He says he feels like he needed to experience it so that he could help other people who may be struggling with similar challenges.
I guess the answer must have just come to him, but I wondered if he had bugged the house while we were all out or something. It was a little creepy that he knew only moments after I verbalized it.

*Frank, I'm sorry for the pain I have put you through. It has been a trial for me too. But, what is important is that we both come out strong and better people from this experience, which I believe we both will.*