Thursday, January 11, 2007

Having a Pitty Party

I am venting right now in order to deal with my disappointment about this week. Tonight there is an unofficial opening dance for the Utah Lindy Exchange. That's where Utah invites people from other states, at some exchanges people will even come from other countries to attend special dancing events for the weekend. At most, exchanges will have dancing from noon til 5 AM from Friday to Sunday evening.

Last year, I was planning to attend at least one of the dances with Frankenstein, it would have been a first. Instead, I spent the weekend in the hospital with my son who had Brochialitis and Pneumonia. So, this year I was determined not to miss it. I registered for the full event a few weeks ago and I even volunteered to host a few people from out of town. I have spent quite a bit of time preparing the house for company.

Monday, I took Guy in to see the Dr because he had a bark like cough. The Dr. determined that it was Bronchitis. He prescribed an antibiotic for him to help prevent it from turning to pneumonia. I was stressing out because it was the only day I had at work to finish and turn in the expense reports to payroll. I wasn't sure if he was contagious so I stayed at home with him in the day and took him to work with me for a few hours in the evening.

Tuesday morning I could tell he was not doing very well but I felt like I need to go to work for at least a couple of hours to finish the reports. I tried to see if the neighbor could watch him for a few hours, but she was on her way to volunteer at a school. He perked up long enough for me to get him to preshool. I called afer a couple of hours to see how he was doing and they say he is pretty slugish and that he is going down for a nap. They called when he woke up after 2 to tell me that he had a temperature of 102 or higher and that his face was swollen!

I took off to pick him up and made another Dr appointment on my way over because I was concerned about his face. His face was not as bad as I thought but I could tell he wasn't well. I just took him home and let him rest. I asked the neighbor to watch him for a couple of hours while I went to the laundromat. He stayed with her again on Wednesday while I went to work.

Today is Thursday. Guy woke up at 7 with a fever and when I laid down next to him I could hear crackling in his breathing like I hear when he has pneumonia. I gave him some medication and let him sleep. He woke up two hours later in a cold sweat. I called the Dr to ask to speak to him. I heard back from the nurse several hours later. The Dr wanted for him to get a chest X-ray. It took a lot of coaking and comforting and bribing to get Guy to the hospital. I promised him it wouldn't hurt and there would be no shots. I also told him that he could buy a toy with the money in his wallet that he found plus two more dollars laying around the house. He almost didn't get out of the car once we were there so I told him I would double what money he has, $5 if it hurts. He didn't give in easily but I finally got him out of the car.

I carried him at least a block to the hospital from the parking lot in the slushy, snow. He was calm as we got registered but when we headed down the hallway to the radiology department he wouldn't come. I carried him part way and then he got down and he would have run out the door if I wasn't pulling on his arm. Once in the waiting room I had to sit down and wrap my legs around him to keep him there. He tried biting my leg and hitting and grabing me. A nurse came to the window and offered him a couple of toys. He backed himself up into the corner at the opposite end of the room. She came in with a box of toys and let him pick a few out. She got him to follow her into the X-ray room where they gave him 5 stickers. I have never seen them shower him with toys and stickers like that before. He was hesitant to step up to the board so they pretended to take my picture and they let Guy touch the button that turns on the light. After that he was very cooperative. That nurse was amazing. I'm so glad she made it so much easier.

We brought the X-rays to the Dr's office. He said that it's on the verge of pneumonia and at most walking pneumonia. He wanted to speed up the process by giving him a shot of antibiotic. I promised Guy that he wouldn't be getting a shot so I asked Guy if he would be ok with a shot. Of course he said no. I asked if we could just continue on the oral antibiotics. He wrote another prescription for some more.

I understood that I was supposed to pick up my first guest at about 7 pm from the airport. I had arangements for Guy to stay with Frankenstein tonight but that was canceled because he isn't well. I asked my neighbor if she would be willing to watch him for the night so that I could attend the dance tonight and I would pick him up in the morning. She hesitated slightly but agreed.

Well, Guy didn't want to go to Allison's house. He wanted to go to Grandma and Grandpa's. I called my dad, knowing that I wouldn't have time to take him there and get back in time. I told him the story and was working up to asking him if they would watch him for the night and he beat me to it and said, "So, are you asking if we will watch Guy for you tonight?" Then he went on, "You know, you are Guy's mother and have soul responsibility over him. I don't think you should be asking someone else to watch him for you when he is on the verge of pneumonia. I realize you have probably been planning this for some time now and it would be fun and exciting and that but I feel like you should be staying home to take care of your son." I was silent. It pierced me to my core. "Of course, you know all of this already, I'm sure." he said. I still couldn't respond. Just then my mom was coming in and he said he would talk it over with her. "No, nevermind." I said.

I called to see if someone else could pick up my guest from the Airport and I learned that they had already made arangements to pick her up. I also called my neighber to cancel our arangement. I have been having a hard time dealing with the disappointment and to top if off my Landlord decided to cook on his stove. Which in itself isn't a crime but fact that he has a layer of overspilt, burnt, decaying, grease in the bottom of his oven makes it one because the smell makes me sick to my stomach.

I'm almost over it already.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


I have so missed planning and preparing for company in my own little place. I invited my parents and brother & his wife to come up for lunch the Saturday before Christmas. My father couldn't make it but the rest of them did. I made tofu fajitas with refried beans and I fixed some spanish rise. I guess they turned out ok because they all ate until they were full.

While I was cooking the tofu the fragrace of the spices were filling the house and Guy asked me, "What's that smell?" I told him, "That's the smell of your mother cooking. I know it rarely happens. Try not to get used to it."

I do wish I had a real kitchen with at least a half size oven and stove and a normal sized sink.I get by but I would like to do more cooking in order to keep a healthy diet, especially being a wana-be vegan in a non-vegan friendly state. I feel like my health might be suffering from lack of protien and other nutrients it needs. But that's another subject.

So, after lunch we took Trax to downtown Salt Lake where we listened to some carrolers, Guy got his picture taken with Santa Clause and we wandered through the lights at Temple Square for a minute until we had to stop in the visitors center so Grandma could take a potty break.

It was a little freaky to be in there, honestly. The first thing I noticed were these brief video clips of these endocrinated children being asked questions about families. They were all so confident in their answers. A kind of chill went up my spine but not from the cold.

My mother had to have a copy of this pedigree chart from an ancestor that they were apparently out of and they had to scour the place to find one. In the mean time Guy was falling asleep and I got stopped by some sister missionaries. One from Peru and another one from France.

My mother joined the conversation and it lead to her mentioning that I went on a mission. I walked the walk and talked the talk enough to avoid creating waves. It's situations like that that tend to make my mother emotional. I had the pleasure of carrying Guy on my back, who was passed out until we got home.

My mom rode back with us and we stayed at my parents' house from Saturday night to Tuesday Morning. I even went to church with them. I was fine about it until the Sacrament was passed. I had forgotten about the silent giveaway. So began the psychology of it all, in my head. I thought, do I take the Sacrament and ignore the fact that I know that they know that they would not consider me to be worthy, but take it as a token of my own faith regardless? Or do I decline it out of respect for their beliefs of worthiness and openly admit that I am not worhty. In my heart I wanted to decline simply becuase I am still on the fence about Jesus Christ and I disagree about whether I am "worthy" or not.

So, how do I portray that to the people sitting around me when my son asked me why I'm not taking the bread or the water. He started to regurgitate my recent nutritional food lecture to me. He obviously doesn't understand what it's for but that doesn't bother me.

Anyway, I made it through the one hour Christmas program. It was interesting to be there and observe and listen with new ears and eyes. I was more uneasy about it than I expected, yet I was good at not letting it show.

Monday, January 01, 2007


Aww, people do care :)

I want to share some good news. Granted, it's a little late but I'm still basking in it's reward. I was finally hired on at my job!!

It's amazing to me how things have worked out for me lately. In some cases I will just have a thought and it will take place. Like the way I was hired at my job for instance: I was getting frustrated with my job situation because it was past the time period by which they were supposed to have hired me from the temp agency. The through crossed my mind that I should see about getting another job and if I get an offer it would like a fire under them to make a decision. First I spoke with the temp agency and they talked to my boss but he could only promise that they would keep me on as a temp through the end of the year.

A couple weeks later, after updating my resume online, I started getting some responses. The first few were no better than what I had. Even one of my previous employers contacted me for the same position I was working before and with a $1 raise but it was too far, not enough hours and still less pay.

Then the Friday after Thanksgiving I got a call from a company that wanted me to start the following Monday. No interview, just a two week trial period after which I would be hired on and with a pay increase. The starting wage was already more than what I was making but it wouldn't give me any time to give a notice. I debated for about an hour and decided it would be in my best interest to take it anyway.

Over the weekend Guy came down with Pneumonia again! I had to take him into the Dr. on monday, so I called in to both jobs telling them my son is sick. My new employer gave me another week to start and I gave notice to the temp agency.

When my suporvisor learned that I was going to take another job she pulled all the strings she knew to see about hiring me before they loose me. And hire me they did. The next day my boss called me at home with a job offer at a rate higher than the other job.

I was relieved that I didn't have to learn another new job and I knew the raise would help and it certainly has.

There have been other instances lately where things have just worked out the way I hoped for them to. It hasn't all been peaches and cream, mind you but all together I'm slowly getting what I want.