Saturday, February 19, 2005

There is a Season

I worked again today for the woman who has the brain tumors. I was astonished at how her condition had changed in just one week. She could hardly speak. The most I heard her say was, "I heard you were a ball the other night." She was referring to Wednesday, when I went square dancing. Her friends that I met called her and her husband up to tell them about it. He said in all the years that he has been square dancing he has never seen anyone pick it up so quickly as I did. That's quite a compliment.

The rest of the time she didn't even speak. She would just smile for "yes", to respond. She is refusing to take her medication. The only thing she ate all day was two bites of rice crispy cerial before I arrived. I made some cheesecake for them while I was there. I don't know if she will be eating any, but her husband said he will be having some.

She had some visitors come over and they found it difficult to see her in that condition. One of the gentleman escaped to the kitchen where I was hanging out. I could tell it was getting to him. I tried to make some light conversation with him about the weather. His mind was on much heavier things, though. He was saying how it's the attachment that he find most difficult to deal with. I think he meant detachment. I told him he doesn't have to stop loving her. That's something he can keep with him.

I never thought I would be giving advice to those who are dealing with the death of a loved one. I have never been in a situation like this before. This same fella asked me how I deal with with getting to know someone, then having to let go so quickly. He asked me how I deal with it. I told him I go to church and having that faith helps me deal with situations like this. The difference is that I signed up for this. I am getting paid to be there. I knew the situation before I agreed to go. Not to say that it wasn't difficult to see her that way today, though. I had some morbid thoughts while I was bathing her.

I feel it a privelidge to serve her. She is a lovely lady. I am glad to have known her. It is rewarding to know that I have brought her some comfort and joy in her last days on earth.

I often wish I could share the gospel with the people I meet on these jobs. I don't want to overstep my bounds by discussing religion. I try not to be the one to initiate the subject, but I am happy to answer any questions they might have. The woman I care for asked if I am Mormon, I think because I mentioned that I served a mission for my church. She said her grand kids go around with some Mormons on ther basketball team.

I pray that I can keep myself together tomorrow as I am working there again. There will probably be more visitors there today. Her husband made some phone calls to some people who have not yet had a chance to visit, indicating that they should come now because her time is drawing shorter.

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