Tuesday, March 08, 2005


It's Monday evening and guess where I am. I was called into work again this evening for the same lady that I stayed up with last night. I really don't understand how this woman is still alive. She has not had any nutrition going on four days and she only gets a total of maybe one cup of water per day. They took her off of the Oxygen today because they felt that it was sustaining her life, which they have no desire to do.

I got off this morning and had to rush off to another appointment. I nursed an anti-stress (because my body was still buzzing) smoothie on the way home. Guy was happy to see me, as I was to see him. He ran and got a picture he had drawn from the study to show me. I think he was trying to tell me that it was of me. We took a nap together for a few hours.

Then I got a call from my work asking me if I can fill in again tonight because the girl who normally works that shift was raped the night before. Had she been working the first night they had me fill in for her it would not have happened. I guess she was on a date, but she also said that there was a group of boys that were involved. I don't know anything other than that, except that she mentioned that she is Mormon. I don't know the girl, but I met her mother this morning because she came to take my place as I was leaving. I can't believe that her mother stayed to work all day knowing that her daughter was in the hospital because she had been raped the night before.

I feel useless, wasted, trashed, you get the picture. What I really want to do is just crash....SLEEP.

I was starting to doze, then at 12:30 am the woman that I am watching coughed, then opened and closed her mouth. (Normally her mouth is hanging open.) Her breathing paused. I called for her family and they came a minute later. She passed away within 10 minutes.

Immediately after she passed, the room was filled with the Spirit. I felt as though I was in the Temple. Her family was whispering ever so softly. I felt like I should be able to look around the room and see her and her loved ones from the other side standing around. I think the room was packed. I'm sure there were a lot of people here to greet her. They told me that she was a Minister for many years. I'm sure she did a lot of good for a lot of people. God bless her.

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