Friday, July 21, 2006

A Frank Encounter of the Third Kind

I thought last weeks events would be difficult to top, but it proved to be easier than I realized.

For the third time in the last couple of weeks Guy became somber. When I asked him what was wrong he would tell me that he missed Frank. The other two times, I just dismissed it and tried to explain that Frank won't be coming around any more, but that he still loved and cared for him.

This time I realized it was breaking his heart and that broke mine. My parents would be out of town for the weekend, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to find out if Frank would like to have him stay over one or two night. I hadn't spoken to or emailed him for several weeks so I figured enough time had passed that things had cooled off between us that I could have a normal conversation with him. I was wrong.

He went on again about why he thinks I broke up with him. Never mind that I have given him all my reasons several times already, he still has to come up with his own that he likes better. He even thought that I had ulterior motives in calling him to see if he would like to visit with Guy. He assumed that I was desperate for a sitter because my parents were gone, so I could go out dancing or on some date. Well true, I had plans for both Friday and Saturday, but I could have easily found another sitter without calling Frank. He was the first one I called because Guy wanted to see him, but nothing I say has any validity with him. He dismisses anything I tell him. So he acted like he would be doing me a big favor and let me know that he would cancel his plans so that he could see him. I was fed up and I told him a couple of times that I wasn't going to go through with it because I didn't want to deal with his accusations and belittling.

I guess I'm a sucker because I let him talk me into allowing it. We were to meet up on Friday afternoon in NE SL. We were a little early, so we kept cool by going into TGIF and ordered some lunch. I checked my phone and found that I had missed a call from the temp agency. I was expecting to learn the results of a few job interviews I had the days prior. Sure enough, I had been offered a job with LANDesk Software. It was a temp to hire position paying $10/hr. I was a little disappointed because there was another job I interviewed for that had earlier hours and paid $2 more /hour plus 1/2 hour lunch break. When I asked them about it they told me it had been filled internally, so I probably really had no chance at that job anyway. They just had to interview some one from the outside to keep it legal probably, and that was me. So of course I took the other offer.

Our food got there just after Frank arrived. He was spacing out and couldn't even focus enough to eat. He had been working all morning/day doing some construction job. He says he hadn't had much sleep the nights before either.

I was enjoying lunch and he kept prying and asking me questions about my personal life. He wanted to know what I was up to. I wish I could remember the question that lead me to finally spill the beans to him about my not going to church any more. I had been holding back from telling him for the last three months because he was still making visits to my parents house and I didn't want him to open his big mouth about it in front of my parents or something. I had just barely told him when I got a call from this guy I have seen a few times. I would have let it go except that he called me last week and I didn't answer and never called him back. So I just picked it up to ask him if I could call him back later.

Of course this made Frank even more jealous and curious and his questioning became even more personal. I answered his question without saying anything. At this he flew off the handle. He got up and walked around the back of the table and I'm sure he saw that I wasn't wearing my garments because my shirt had inched up a bit and exposed my (gasp) SKIN! He bent over to hug Guy and he just told him over and over that he loved him as if he said it enough times it might keep his soul from burning in Hell because of his wicked mother. He said to me as the waitress replaced my lemonade, "You disgust me!" I had had enough and I told him I didn't' need to hear this from him. He disagreed and said that I did and he said it again.

I got up and grabbed my purse and ripped Guy out of his arms and started for the door. He followed behind me and I turned to him and asked if he was going or staying. If he was going I would have stayed, but when he said he didn't know I told him I was leaving and he could pay for lunch. I nearly ran to the car with Guy in my arms. He must have thrown a $20 at them because he was right behind me after I got Guy in, trying to stop me from getting in my car. I pushed on his shoulder and said excuse me to get through him and into my car. He said, "Don't touch me." He then moved out of my way for me to get in, but held the door open so I couldn't close it. We tugged it back and forth a few times. I'm surprised it didn't damage the car door. I was angry and I did what I do when I try to get Guy's attention, I clapped my hands at him and told him to let go of the door. Ha, I'm sure that was a real threat to him. Then I screamed at him to let me go. I saw him look up from me and let go of the door. I looked where he was looking and saw that one of the girls from the restaurant had come out the door and was headed straight for him.

I slammed the door and took off as fast as I could to get the Hell out of there. Of course he followed me from there too. He pulled up next to me at the stop light and started yelling at me from the window. I took a right turn into the neighborhood and he turned from the middle lane to follow me. We were approaching a red light that turned green just at I came upon it and I turned left in front of the other traffic so he couldn't follow me.

My adrenalin was going and I was paranoid about him following me. I kept looking in my rear view mirror expecting to see him turn up. Once on the freeway, Guy tells me that I forgot to put his belt on him.

The next few hours were filled with phone messages from him saying that if I don't answer he is going to show up at my parents house and how he wants me to give back anything that he gave me because I was using him and I don't deserve it. He threatened to call my parents to tell them about my leaving the church because of how much I have hurt him. I begged him not to.

He went back and forth a few times about whether or not he would tell them. I explained how I wanted to tell them myself, but I was waiting until I could be out of the house first so I didn't have to be in the house while they came to terms with it. I also preferred that hey hear it from me rather than some one like him, whom they really don't have much respect for anyway.

I didn't hear from him for a couple of days when he had finally cooled off and he apologized for yelling at me and pulling a Jerry Springer on me at the restaurant. I was looking at apartments that same day. He wanted to let me know that he still cared about me and hoped that we could be friends. I told him I didn't think we could be friends because I would always feel like he is judging me or showing pity on my when I don't want or need either, esp from him.

I had just looked at this place that was advertised as two rooms for rent in a house owned by an older gentleman. After seeing that he also had a basement with two bedrooms, a bathroom, a living area and a wet bar, I asked if we could arrange for me to rent out the basement portion of the house instead. He was cool with that and I told him I would get back to him with plans to possibly move out the upcoming weekend.

On my way home Frank called me again and starts out with, "This is hard for me to do." I knew he was about to do or say something foolish, or both. He proceeded to share the story with me again about when he used to do Crystal meth and he observed that the lady who dealt it to him had a baby that she allowed to crawl on the floor, where he was sure that it had probably found and taken some of the drugs floating around her house. He shared with me how he debated whether or not he should report her. He eventually did and he felt like it was the right thing and she did some time in jail etc.

Then he had the nerve to compare that situation to my own because he was concerned for the salvation of Guy. I was furious. I told him that was ridiculous and that there is no comparison because I am not endangering my own life or Guy's by choosing not to go to church. I guess his mind was made up. He had counseled with his sisters as to what to do and the decision was made for and in behalf of me that my parents needed to be aware of my situation because they love me.

Where was my choice in all of this? He claimed that I told him for a reason. That I wanted him to know and I was telling him as a cry for help. Give me a break!!! I told him because he kept asking for it. I had been avoiding the subject with him for three months and I was just fine with him not knowing. He said he was going to break my promise to me and tell my parents. I panicked and called the house to warn my dad that he might call, but not to listen to him. There was no answer there, so I called my mother's cell phone. She answered and I told her that Frank was at it again and that he might call her. I suggested that she just not answer his call. She was more concerned for the safety of Guy and I and not terribly surprised that he as out of control.

When I got off the phone with her, Frank called again and told me that he called my brother instead. He told me how my brother thanked him over and over again. How he said that I'm the only sister he's got then Frank filled in on how much my family loves me and that he did it out of love and concern for me. Funny thing is, his act of love made me want to rip his eyes out.

I called up the landlord to the basement apt that I had just looked at and asked if I could move in as soon as tomorrow and give him the rent on Friday. Thankfully he agreed. I called up another boyfriend of mine who I had shared this all with and he wanted to help. He volunteered to rent the U-haul for me the next morning. That helped me out so very much. I also called Paul to ask if he could send me the money back from my portion of the flight, which he offered to do when I gave it to him. He was happy to help me get on my own.

Much thanks to both of you for helping me! Mooah!

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