Those are words I dread when coming from my mother, and usually anyone.
The only time I actually discussed my leaving the church with either of my parents was on a Saturday when my dad had gone fishing and I went to my parent's house to do some laundry. My mother met up with us for lunch first.
I remember being especially tired that day and I laid down on the couch to rest when my mom came in and said, "We need to talk, if you are up to it."
She kind of had me cornered. No I wasn't really up to it, but it had been put off long enough I suppose. My mother had some questions for me about some of the changes taking place in my life.
I knew my brother had told them. Apparently he didn't waste any time either because the day after I moved, I went down to their house to pick up a few things and on the back of the list that my mother and I made she had written a couple of spiritual thoughts and she sent home an Ensign with me.
A couple of weeks had passed since then and they seemed to be coping with it well, at least in my presence. I think I hoped that I would never have to explain it to them, but I expect this isn't the last time it will come up. I don't feel like I really need to justify it to them, but I think it's fair to answer a few questions for them.
The questions she asked me that day were...What made you decide to stop going to church? Do you still believe in prayer? So, you don't believe in the power of the Priesthood? What about all the wonderful people that you taught on you mission, you don't believe in the things you taught them anymore? What do you plan to do with your church records? Will you allow Guy to go to church?
I did my best to appease her without offending her while still being open minded yet firm in my newly established beliefs. I explained briefly to her about my experiences with answers to prayers and that I believe there is a source of power that we are all entitled to. I told her I have not plans to remove my records from the church so far and that it was fine if Guy wants to attend church with them some time, but I won't be taking him. She thought I should let him go with the kids in the neighborhood. I was not too keen on the idea because I felt it would raise questions in the minds of the other kids regarding why Guy's mother and father don't go to church. Perhaps this is a selfish reason, but I don't feel like Guy needs to be judged or singled out from his friends since he is already well aware that he doesn't have a dad and the other kids do.
We talked for maybe 30 minutes and then she let me be. I feel for them because I know that they must feel like they are loosing their daughter in the after life. I'm glad they are still able to accept me for who I am, I hope. They have helped me out a lot with getting me moved and fixing up my place and I am very thankful to them for it.