The ward secretary of my family ward called me up on Tuesday to schedule an interview with the Bishop for the following night. I was hesitant, but I agreed. I tried to find out what it was about, but he didn't know, of course.
I let my mind wander up until the time I went in for the interview. For one, I am supposed to be a member of the YA ward and he would no longer be my Bishop. Did a family member read my blog and rat me out? Did my parents notice the few days that I went without my garments? Did the neighbors complain of my working out on the stepper on the deck in my baithing suit to get some sun? Is he just checking in on me, because he cares? Did it have to do with my dad filling out and donating $2 towards for a fast offering for me? ( I told him I didn't have any to give, and he figured I meant I didn't have any money, so he gave it for me without telling me until after. I just meant I didn't *want to give any, even though I did fast, because it was for his health and for my aunt Chris's family.)
Should I be prepared to confess all? Should I deny it all? Play it cool? Cancel?
I went with...Play it cool. I acted as if nothing was wrong. I would not let on to anything that he may or may not already be aware of.
That was the right approach. Of course he started off with asking how I am doing with finding a job and how things are going with Frank, whether we are friends etc. He asked if I was glad that he encouraged us to wait until we could go to the temple. I assured him I was glad that we waited.
He told me that he was doing some routine interviews of the single people in the ward, and this was the reason for my visit. He mentioned that he just finished interviewing the other single member of the ward, Jeremy. He has been trying to set us up from the time I moved here. I didn't mind and I would have even gone out with him, even thought I didn't feel like he was my type. I gave him an opportunity to, as he found me on a LDS website and we sent a few messages back and forth, but he never made the move. Shortly after that I began dating Frank. The Bishop seems to want to encourage us to go on a date now that I am no longer engaged. I pretended to go along with it.
He also wanted to explain that although I can attend the YA ward he is going to keep my records in the family ward because I have a child. Something about how the ward can better meet the needs of the kids. I have been sending Guy with my parents so he can go to Primary. They had no problem with it when I was attending the YA ward in California. Apparently, they only requested my records, so Guy's were left in the Family ward and he became head-of-household. My Bishop suggested that I start attending Sacrament meeting with my family in addition to going to the YA ward. That way, Guy sees that I am going to church.
He then went on to ask me the general questions....am I still morally clean, and worthy to go to the temple...am I paying a full tythe...am I saying my personal prayers...
Well, considering I think the temple is a hoax and I haven't done anything I conder to be morally unclean, I answered yes to the first question. I haven't been earning any money, aside from the garage sale, so no reason to pay any tithing. Personal prayers...now there's an interesting subject.
"Actually, Bishop I have been having a hard time saying my personal prayers lately." He seemed to know just what I was speaking of because he asked me if it was because I received such a strong answer about marrying Frank. Yes, that's exactly the reason.
He opened up his scriptures to D&C 46 which talks about the gifts of the Spirit. He read verse 16 which says, "And again, it is given by the Holy Ghost to some to know the diversities of operations, whether they be of God, that the manifestations of the spirit may be given to every man to profit withal."
He explained that some times there are other influences that can mimic the Spirit. For example One's positive attitude. Even in the temple, contrary to people's belief that there can be no unclean thing in the temple, some times people lie and so a person's promptins can even be influenced by something other than the Spirit in the Temple.
He mentioned how they go about filling a calling within the ward with the right person. He used my mother as an example. He said that most of the time they just feel good about the fit and some times it doesn't work out, but usually it does. I happen to know how she was called to be the ward newsletter person. The counselor actually came over to give her one calling, but she didn't feel like she could commit to it because she is planning to be working durring the hours that she would need to be available for it. He asked about what kind of work she does and she mentioned that she has a lot of computer experience. Knowing that the ward will also be in need of a new person to do the newsletter, he asked her if she would be able to do that instead. Then he went back and they made their decision to call her as the newsletter person instead.
So, in other words Bishop, I was misguided by an evil spirit, or my overly positive attitude when I received the answer to my prayer about whether I should spend the rest of my life with and have children with the person I am dating? If I cannot rely on the Spirit to actually be the Spirit, then what can I rely on?
The conclusion of his interview was, once again that I need a good man to take me to the temple and support me.
I just don't buy into that anymore. It has done me no good to put myself out on a line, expecting a good man to come along and save me. Love Ya, Bish, but what you are asking of me is not fair.