Thursday, June 02, 2005

Sour Harmony

I have expected that my ex would be contacting me with hopes of seeing our son, once I moved here. I have not heard from him for several months and the only number I had for him was his work number. I tried to reach him there last week because I had a plan to write a book about some of his bizarre experiences since we seperated.

When I called his work, they informed me that he has not been working there since January. I figured his ex-wife would know his whereabouts, so I tried calling her number. It was no longer in service, and the number I got from information was not her either. I tried a few other bogus numbers. I am at a bit of a loss and I'm not sure weather I should pursue it any further or not.

Perhaps I will share it the events in my blog. It really is a phenomenon, what happened to him. I was reminded of it today again because in my search for the office of a temporary employment agency, I wandered into this business complex and discovered that I was at a Hospice and Heathcare center. I realized as I was leaving that it had the same name as a program that my ex-husband participated in, several months after we seperated.

It was a bit of a trip for me to stumble across it. See, he became homeless shortly after I left him. I would have been too, if I had stuck around any longer. Our utilies were being shut off one by one and the rent was a couple months late, too.

His life hit bottom at the end of his journey away from the church and from me. Even to the point of sleeping on the streets and surviving by the generosity of strangers. He learned about this program and considered it a chance to make a real change in his life. He was even willing to give up his prize possession; the upright base that his father gave him.

We drove all the way to Oregon to pick up that doghouse base. He would have carried it on his back and walked home if he had to. He traded art work for lessons from a member of a local Psychobilly band.

After we seperated, I got a phone call from him inviting me to attend his graduation from this program he was involved with. He shared with me how he had made many positive changes in his life and he wanted to be able to celebrate it with every one he cared about. I think he had this vision of being able to heal all the years of pain that he caused with myself, his other ex-wife, their children and with his mother and sister in this one day. He even offered to pay my airfare, if I would only promise to be there on this special day for him.

I was somewhat interested in supporting him in the milestone in his life, but I didn't feel like it was appropriate for me to make such a commitment to him when I was still trying to find my own way again.

Just a few weeks before he intended to graduate from this program, he dropped out because he and one of the employees wanted to date each other and that was not permitted. So, he tossed it all away so that they could continue seeing each other. They even moved out together and that's where he was at the time of his memory loss.

This is where it gets interesting...I think I will end here this time and go into that later.

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